In her eyes.
I looked into the mirror. Staring at me was a face I hardly recognize. She looks older than me. She looks tired. She has wrinkles. Her eyelids droop. Her jaws sag. She is forty pounds heavier than she used to be. And this weight shows in the fullness of her face.
But I recognize the eyes. The eyes are the same. I look into her eyes. There is a whole world hidden there. In her eyes, I see her second grade play. She was the lion in the Wizard of Oz. In her eyes, I see her childhood best friend as they play barbies in an abandoned school bus. In her eyes, I see her first boyfriend and the awkward first kiss they attempted at the homecoming game. In her eyes, I see her high school prom when she took her first drink of alcohol at the afterparty. She hated it but wanted to seem cool. In her eyes, I see a young woman holding a positive pregnancy test, not knowing how to be a young, single mother. In her eyes, I see that young woman bring home the child that would change her life.
In her eyes I see countless jobs as she tries to find her place in this world. I see sleepless nights from worrying about unpaid bills. I see laughter from evenings spent playing charades with friends. I see family vacations, where “family” meant whoever wanted to tag along. I see chicken pot pies, no bake cookies, birthday cakes, cheeseburgers on the grill, taco Tuesdays, spaghetti with meatballs and the thousands of other dishes she’s made and the millions of dishes she’s done.
In her eyes, I see the man who stole her heart. I see her fall in love. I see date nights and cuddle time after the kids are asleep. I see the pride and misunderstandings that ultimately lead to heartache. I see cocktails with girlfriends. I see lunch with coworkers. I see block parties with neighbors. In her eyes, I see Mamaw who taught her to make biscuits.
In her eyes, I see every man that has touched her inappropriately. I see every jealous woman that spewed bitter words at her. I see everyone person who has doubted her. I see family members who have turn their backs on her. I see childhood trauma. I see every mistake she’s ever made. I see all the wrong turns and dark paths she walked. I see every lie. I see every truth. I see every consequence. I see fear. I see uncertainty. I see defeat.
But that’s not all that lies behind these intensely beautiful, fiercely blazing eyes.
In her eyes, I see dreams. I see determination. I see resilience. I see forgiveness. I see her rising from the ashes of a charred past. I see hope.
She has walked every step with me. Taken every breath with me. She has risen to occasions and shined bright in the darkness. She has worked hard. Played hard. Loved hard. She is magic. She is color. She is light. Confetti and glittery sprinkles. A deep well of wisdom and conversation. She is every person she has ever met. She is every word she has ever written. Every song she sings. She is unconquerable. She is every woman.